Thursday, November 14, 2013

Home

We have come so far to learn to be happy
To improve our EQ as a family
And to let it go as a family
This is a place call home

Though anger strikes
Flying object flew past
Words may become hurtful
Hands could not resist to cause wounds
But we must learn to overcome and grow

After the process of endurance, giving and taking
After the process of understanding, acceptance and forgiveness
Because of love we learn to hate
Because of hate we learn to forgive
Because of forgive we once again learn to love

Home is a shelter where love and warmth is
Though the past may seem terrifying
We held hand in hand to overcome the obstacles that appeared in front us
We were brave and we stand strong

This is my home, a place I love
This is my home, where I receive love
This is my home, where I give my love

Thank you dad, mum, kor kor and you you.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

How I perceive others and how others perceive me

Acceptance into a social circle is a necessity for normal human beings. Consciously you may deny it, but subconsciously you really need it. Few years ago I wrote, you can be a good person but don't overdo it. My perception of this still remains the same. I came across many posts in regards of "don't be a nice person, be a bad person. If a person cannot accept the bad side of things; that person is not worth being in your social circle." I may agree to a certain extent but I disagree to a large extent. Words can be a double edge word, it may bring a person to heaven or push someone to hell. That is why communication is a form of art and a knowledge to be learn. No one likes someone to treat themselves badly, everyone is seeking for kind, empathy and trust from others. Though some people perceive ignorance as a negative thing but to me, ignorance is the best medicine. Why must I inflect negative behavior onto someone when I have the choice to ignore? I may type this but I did behave badly in front of people who I felt uncomfortable with.

There is one thing about acceptance which I do not feel so good about. Subconsciously knowing that a group of friends refuse to accept me for who I am keep keeping me in a group where I aren't suppose to be. Maybe because I came to know what true acceptance from others feel like. My current classmates gave me the kind of acceptance which I thought it will never come back to me after my primary school days. This negative result may come from changes in character, perspective, environment and pressure that I faced. Maybe I'm fine with them putting me in a group but something that I am very uncomfortable with is that friends who think that they truly understand me and go round telling others they really do understand me. Actually it is a joke, you don't.

Another thing about being a nice person. Some people are just nice, as in nice to everyone. Yes it is a plus point and everyone likes you. But being nice against your will isn't it bad? I did over praise a few of my friends that "oh you are the nicest person on earth" or "you are the nicest person among my friends". It is a white lie actually because those people are actually people who hurt me the most but they are people who wants someone to tell them they are nice.

Friday, October 18, 2013

My 22nd Birthday!

8 days ago was my 22nd birthday and I'm going to upload some awesome photos from my classmates and my iPhone. Here you go!

8twelvers had 2 new classmates this year! Thanks Jon for making such a nice design for the photo!
However, there is one missing Tommy in this photo.

They took this photo while they were trying to light up the candles, I went to the toilet and had no idea they were gonna sing a birthday song for me. Jones did an awesome brownie for me and I'm super duper happy that she actually took the night to bake it! 


The music techies brought me to Swenson's for my birthday treat! Thanks guys!

I went home and mum bought my favorite coffee cake! The 2 guys up there doesn't like to eat coffee cake so mum bought 2 small chocolate cake specially for them... CHOOSY EATERS!

My dad took the photo up there, so he wasn't in that photo but here! DAD!!!


Wee Wee sent a birthday card from Adelaide! Thank you!

Monday, September 23, 2013

My Lady Luck Is Not With Me

2 to 3 weeks ago, a bird dropping just fell from the sky and landed as I walked past. Though it did not fell directly on me but I still had some bird droppings on my back. Unlucky... oh well... Last friday was even more hilarious, I saw the bus 31 came and I ran a few steps. But my bag and violin were too heavy so I gave up and walked. Everything look fine from then.... UNTIL, before I boarded the bus I walked down the step and fell into the hole on the road. I typically just fell not backward, not forward but just landed with the gravity. There goes my ankle, I sprained it. There was this western guy in front of me who turned and asked me "Are you ok?" and I replied: "Yeah I'm fine, yeah I'm fine." The bus driver was even funny, he looked at me and repeatedly said: "Take your time..." Ok uncle, yes was taking my time and was not rushing. My instant reaction was not feeling embarrassed but oh shit. I couldn't stand properly. So I limped to a seat and sat down. I felt like fainting at that point of time but I told myself it was not the first time feeling this way because it occurred to me too many times as I always feel dizzy. I limped back home and went to the sinseh during the night.

Day 1 after visiting the sinseh
I thought that it was just a small accident so I would be going to school tomorrow morning. But I was wrong! The next morning I woke up and went to turn on the heater, I limped as usual. Woah that pain was unbearable seriously. I decided to give up going to school though it was the last day of the term. That whole day I hopped and rolled on the wheel chair. During the late afternoon, I finally could limp and I went back to visit the sinseh again. He said because of the poor blood circulation so the ankle was painful. He helped to improve my foot's blood circulation and I could limp again!

Day 3 Blue Black
Day 3 I took off the bandage and there was a big patch of blue black, a little swollen and I can finally walk though it was a bit painful.

Today which is the 5th day of my injury, everything is fine. I can walk normally though it is a little painful.

I heard from Jones yesterday that my classmate thought I fell on the bus and my lecturer Brain was like opening his eyes wide open. No you guys were wrong, I did not stone and I did not fell on the bus. I just fell before I board the bus which was even more stupid.

This is the very first time that I actually sprained my ankle, I must be very lucky over the past 21 years of my life.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Going Back In Time

There is a myth about the Bermuda Triangle. Rumors said that any air craft, airplane, object or human that got near the Bermuda Triangle might go back in time. Let's say today there is a choice to go back in time, will you?

If I am given the choice, I will decline the offer. If the 21 year old me were to go back in time, seriously what can I do? My family might not recognize me, nobody will to be exact. If a policeman were to come up to me to check my ID, things might go very wrong. Let's say I went 10 years back, the time when I was 11 years old. Then the policeman checks my ID, most likely he will be super horrified to find out that I am born in the year of 1991 and I should be a 11 years old kid instead of a 21 year old girl. I might be accused for having a fake ID.

Unless there is another scenario which I went back in time without knowing and there is only one me. For example like I knocked my head and I went back in time to the 11 years old little girl and is still that 11 year old me with no memory that I went back in time. Actually it really does not make a difference because the surrounding, family, peers influences and education that I went through will all be the same and I will definitely make the exact same decision for anything I do.

If I really do not have the choice and I went back in time as a 21 years old me, most likely I will go up to the 11 years old Abigail and teach that little girl how to have a better communication skills with other people, learn to open up to others more, learn what is self love and listen to my own opinions more. Maybe that little girl might not be a musician today...

That is a saying that the past cannot be changed, all we have to do is to live in the present and be prepared for the future.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Complain? It's no use.

I have just read a few articles from Yahoo about a Singaporean reprimanding Singaporeans for being spoilt, many Singaporeans commenting and bashing the writer, complaining about this and that. In my opinion, there is no use complaining, blaming and reprimanding about anything. Foreigners and whatever so be it. 

Look back at the history, the rulers were always the one who enjoys, decides and plans for the commoners. I am also one of the commoners who cannot change anything. Just carry on working, fight for your family and earn money for your meals and shelters. 

Honestly I am not proud to be a Singaporean but neither am I proud to be of any national citizen because everywhere is the same. I am chosen to be born here so I am a Singaporean and that's it. When there is politic, there will be bias and unequal treatment. Humans have the tendency to fight for what is best for them, the politicians, the commoners, everybody... Everyone is selfish. Since young, our textbook always tells us not to be a liar and not to be selfish. Come on! You have to be a liar and be selfish to work in the industry, but you have to be an A plus scholar in lying and being selfish to be a politician. 

Whether you choose to migrate overseas or people choose to migrate here, it does not really concern you or me. Migrating is for the sake of convenience, if you have a job overseas or you have your family overseas, just migrate. Everywhere is still the same, we are still humans living on this earth.

If Singapore is a place where horrifying things happen to you, you can always choose to leave. On a side note, even if the place you live has changed, if your heart doesn't, nothing will change except for your location. You can be happy if you choose to be. 

Thursday, July 18, 2013

I WISH



I have just uploaded a short piano piece yesterday! Actually this song was composed for a Malay theatre show named "Pentas" by NUS last month, apparently it does not sound like a Malay song so I guess that was why it was rejected. I remembered I completed this in a rush, hmmm I took an hour to finish this song. Due to the "a day" deadline, I use my mouse to drag the midi notes for the middle intervals to form a sixth apart in the chorus and some chords in the pre-chorus. Yes I cheated with the use of technology. I was kind of sad that this song was rejected so few weeks later I shifted the velocity because the melody was kind of soft and there was not much dynamic changes. So here you go! Enjoy!

Friday, June 14, 2013

To-do-list

1) Kill the termites in my piano.
2) Repair my Mac.
3) Paint my peeling wall.
4) Unclog my toilet floor trap.
5) Repair my Yamaha keyboard.
6) Repair my kitchen tap.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Crush

Having a crush...

Do I like him or do I not?

Does he like me or does he not?

Does he dislike me or does he not?

Is he single or he is not?

Should I tell him or should I not?

Will he know it or will he not?

Should I wait or should I not?


Receiving a crush...

Why does he like me?

Does he really like me?

Should I accept him?

Should I reject him?

How do I reject him?

How to befriend him again?


If my crush likes me...

I would gladly accept it.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Which is more important to you?

There is a question that I wanted to ask the people around me but couldn't because it is something personal. So I will blog about my rankings for "which is more important to me?"

Please rank the following which is more important to you deep down in your heart:
Friends
Family
Money
Job
Power
Love (boy-girl relationship)
Material (pursuing branded goods, expensive way of living, big house, sports car)
Social (networking and acquaintances)
Health
Religion
Politics

Wow, the question is really very personal right? That is why I dident ask anyone.

This is my ranking:
1) family
2) job
3) money
4) friends
5) love
6) religion
7) material
8) health
9) social
10) politics
11) power

Family is my priority so my blog post is always revolving about them. My life will become black and white without them. And next is job and money, I have to keep on working and keep my brain moving so I will not have the time to think lots of weird stuff; I need money to survive. Friends are important because I need to talk to someone... Love I don't know. I want to have a guy who love me and I love him in return but it just doesn't come my way so I placed it in the 5th position. I need something to believe in and keep my life going so religion supports me. I wanna have a big house but if I were to stop and think about it, I don't need it. Big house = more lonely. In addition to that, I don't really like branded goods. For anything below that, I don't have much comments.

Signing off! Abbie :)

Friday, May 31, 2013

Drop-outs

Just now I tweeted about drop outs and this is what I've tweeted: "There are 2 kinds of dropouts. The 1st one, too smart and school is not a place for u. 2nd, you just couldn't make it."

 Few hours ago I was logging into my dad's Facebook and I wanted to update his profile. So we had this conversation:

Me: "Dad, which high school did you study? High School Muar?"

Dad: "Yes."

Me: "Wait, did you graduate from there?"

Dad: "I did not."

Me: "So that means I cannot write that down in your profile right?"

Dad: "I don't give a damn about Facebook."

Me: "Ok... Then dad why did you force me to study university? You did not even complete your secondary school education..."

Dad: "That's different. If I were to complete my education, I might become a normal salaryman. But you have to get a better education qualification to marry a better man."

Me: "Is that so? I thought you were against me marrying?"

Dad: "......"

When I was studying in Secondary school, some of my classmates said that education is not important. But before you want to give up your education, you have to think whether which category you belong to. The 1st one or the 2nd one. Do you have enough creativity or business brain to succeed in life? Apparently I do not have it so I'm still pursuing my education.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Writing diary decrease the risk of getting depression?

Few months ago I came across this yahoo article that mentioned about writing diary would decrease the risk of getting depression. So I'm throwing back a question, does writing diary really decrease the risk of having depression?

Writing comments or short sentences on Facebook, Twitter, Path or Google+ are actually different types ways to express your thoughts which you can also call it "public diaries." This also include blogging. The difference between blogging and social media are the words limit and the uploading speed. Lastly, the old way is to write it using a pen and a book and keep it in your drawer.

In my personal opinion, I do not think so. One of my friend name Jones quit twitter because tweeting made her tweet lots of depressing stuff, making her even more depressed. So it shows that writing dairy does not really work.

Why I think that writing diary does not prevent depression? Ok this is why...
In the past I wrote depressing words or drew depressing pictures in my diary to vent my frustration, anger and sadness. When I read it months later or even years later, I felt that same negative emotion. I started self pitying myself and started to feel that all the bad things were going to happen again. Honestly it did not cure the scar but it deepens the scar. It was until I came across this YouTube video that mentioned writing positive things in your diary can actually create positive thinking which invites more positivity to your life. Then I started writing motivational words to myself. For example,
"I may be sad now but it is a process that I'm going through. It's okay because tomorrow is gonna be a better day. If you yourself don't believe in yourself, then no one else is gonna believe in you."

The things that you write really does make a difference. If you wanna write a emo post, it's okay but always say I'm emo now but I have friends and my family who will be always there with me. Start with negative comments and summarize with a positive encouragement for yourself. In this way, yes writing a diary really does help decreasing the risk of getting depression. Sadly most of the people does not know how to write a diary.

I came across a few of my social media friends that are sad and angry but saying that they are not. Firstly, they started off shooting people. They mentioned "go get a life", or "I will do what I want..." or "If you hurt me, I will ...." It's sad to deny that you are sad. Some people love to hurt others to cure their  wounds. In return, if you are hurt you use social media as a frustration to attack them, it will only look like you are emotionally unstable. I have tried that before, and when no one cares, a single post or a single comment is just enough. Why don't try writing something to comfort yourself instead of writing something to attack or judge them back. On a certain level, it really does not benefit you. It is sad but this is life...

To summarize this, it is the way you write that helps you get more depressed or less. This post is just an opinion of how I see that yahoo article.

Signing off!!! :D

Friday, May 24, 2013

Friend or Foe!

Some time back I've submitted "Friend or Foe" to XQRJ and it went into the TOP 10 finals. It was really astonishing as I did not expect Friend or Foe actually made its way through TOP 10. The competition was really fun and stressful. I could not think of any other words to describe it as it happened 3 months ago. Now to think of it, it seemed unreal to me, nothing seems real. But oh well I'll just share "Friend or Foe", some photos and videos that happened during the competition.

Credits: Most of the photos come from XQRJ committee/organizer.



The TOP 10 result on Facebook
We went to perform at a hospital.

I don't know why I give the super unhappy face here...





Eww I'm so ugly here...


We went to perform at CRISTOFORI.



I went for an interview at a radio station, YES93.3.






We secretly video our rehearsal down. SHHSS!


One of our practice video played by Jones, Bin and I.

The FINALS!













Wondering what we did at the backstage?


It wasn't for my bandmates Jones, Qilala, Yanhua, Bin bin and Htet who helped me, my song will not be so rock! It wasn't for my family and friends who came and support which made me don't look so lonely on the competition day. It wasn't for all my friends, acquaintances, family, relatives, friends' friends, friends' family, friends' relatives, friends' colleague, uncles and aunties' surrounding people, bandmates' friends and my you you's friends I wouldn't have 600 plus likes on Facebook. It was great and I greatly appreciate it.

However, this is just a path that I walked before and I will keep on progressing as a better composer. 

YEAH SO TILL THE NEXT TIME! :D


Vesak Day! Let's Upload some MUSIC!

Yeah today is Vesak day, a public holiday after a long time. I'm gonna share some of my compositions which I've uploaded some time back in SoundCloud.

Damn!



A dub-pop song written by me. Yeah and the lyric is about me frustrated about the rain. You've got it and I know it is lame.

Cough Concerto



A musik concrete piece also written by me. It's a electronic sound/noise music and people who love electronic music, you guys rock. If you don't appreciate it, you guys rock too.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

My blog has revived!

Yeah last night I mentioned I did not feel like uploading the photos and today I finished uploading all the photos, chose a background skin and now I'm off for CO-LAB!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

My Previous Photos Are Gone!

Ok all my previous photos that I've uploaded since day 1 are all GONE! I've accidentally synced my google+ account to my dad's phone while helping him to download some app and music and my dad deleted all my google+ photos. Therefore all my photos in my blog were gone FOREVER!!! I seriously have no intentions of uploading all my previous photos because I have no time and patience to browse through what I have written over the past 2 to 3 years, so I will leave it as it is.

In addition to that, my blog background is currently black in colour as I have no idea what I should upload. I seriously have no time to blog and I have to VJ for CO-LAB tomorrow and the day after. Now I start to question myself why I am so busy even after the school holiday has already started 2 to 3 weeks ago. Woah 2 to 3 weeks! Time flies so fast! Let's see why I am so busy.......

(1) As mentioned I have to prepare the video footages for CO-LAB, Qilala and I took 2 weeks to learn, figure out and become a VJ for today's rehearsal. I can't believe we took only 2 weeks.
(2) Last week I composed and played for NUS malay theatre performance and it is still ongoing.
(3) Preferably by this week I can finish the arrangement for 2 of my compositions and send it to FM's and Jim's email.
(4) This friday my piano teacher is back and I have to practice and play fluently for my exam piece.
(5) Hopefully I have the extra time, I wanted to submit my piano composition to a piano composition and the deadline is in June.
(6) My younger brother's birthday is on the 27th May and I need to buy his present! Sorry bro your sister failed you. I have always bought my brother's birthday present at least 2 weeks before his birthday and next week is his birthday already!

This week I am so so packed. Saturday I have to watch Tana's stardust performance and Sunday my uncle has a Mothers' Day celebration event. Friday in the afternoon I may have to go the NUS to finish up the songs.

OH MY!!!! I'M SERIOUSLY TIRED PEOPLE... If there are 2 me, life will be super awesome... :(

Monday, February 4, 2013

Who You Are Cover (Jessie.J)

Hi! Today I'm going to share a cover for Jessie.J's Who You Are sang by Keertana! Apparently I have not upload it in YouTube yet, but I will upload it soon! I named ourselves "Tanabi", named with 2 of our names combined together. Please click on the video below to check it out!


Sunday, February 3, 2013

The Voice of a Little Singaporean

I just wanted to tweet something regarding my little voice as a Singaporean but twitter has a limited amount of words I can type so I will just blog about it instead.

Few years ago when I was studying in Polytechnic, my lecturer asked us about Singapore's identity. As I was on the way back home just now, I remembered this question as I looked outside from the cab's window.

Singapore do have her own identity, her identity is her "fast speed in changing". Everything including the infrastructure, buildings, people, animals and trees are always changing. New faces came to Singapore, old faces left Singapore and never came back. It's sad. What made us even depressed was the sudden overcrowding that every Singaporean has to adapt to in such a short time. It seems that Singaporean's emotion and morale are ignored. Singapore is a country that is well known for governing like a company, I do not mind if it is govern this way. But when I came across an internet article yesterday, it stated that boosting your workers' morale would increase in a company's productivity and efficiency. So I really hope that our voice will not be ignored.

I do appreciate what the government has done. The government has provide tuition grant for Lasalle students and before my batch, there was no tuition grant for students studying degree. I am appreciative of this and because of this subsidy, my dad gave more approval for me to study in Lasalle. It would be nice if more attention is given to the music industry. For example subsidy for music students who want to apply for busking. Music equipments are very expensive. A mac itself is so expensive and it's compulsory for every student to have one or you would not be able to do your project at home. Interfaces, transducers, instruments and books all need money and it is seriously expensive. If we could busk and earn some additional income to lower the burden that we gave our parents, it would be seriously great.

I do not request much as a little Singaporean but I hope to see improvement in the music industry and education. This article is about the voice of a little Singaporean.

MY VIDEO!