Monday, July 16, 2012


I'm somebody who is very cool with emotions. When it comes to love, oh my god and I'm actually writing about this, I don't like to go in too deep. I once tweeted that "I treated you like how I touch the surface of the water because I don't want to get drenched." Actually I am really writing about how I treated the opposite sex. I actually thought that maybe one day I met a special someone my perspective would start to shift but till today I have not met the person. Or is it impossible to meet that kind of person?

One of my best friend actually told me that if I were to never get married, I can become his children's godmother and once in a while they would try to come visit me. He would try to whenever they have the time. When I heard that sentences came out from his mouth, I was really super sad. Then I asked myself am I always going to be alone forever?What is this?! Is he pitying me? My god!!!!

He also asked me to lower my standards. Actually is not that I don't lower my standards but I really don't feel anything. Why don't just conclude this that I'm helpless. I think I should.

Or maybe I scare I go into a r/s I would lose my freedom. Freedom is really very important to me as I don't like to be tied down. The world is so big and I realized how tiny I am, it's like asking me to work even harder and become a useful person one day. In this case, how can I be tied down by a person?

I don't know. Maybe that's the case or maybe I think too much.