Saturday, March 31, 2012

Money Cheater!

Yesterday I was super super happy because when I called LASALLE, they said I am chosen to enroll into LASALLE! *Clap hands* But I need to receive a confirmation email to confirm this so I will just save this happy event for another post.

But sadly, after I receive this happy news, I have to head to my music arrangement class and it totally flared me up. Yes he is the same person as the previous post "Respect." When he came out of the class to ask me to go in, not long after he mentioned: "Did you bring your last school fees?" I was thinking what a money face he is and I replied I did.

Usually I have to pay the fees for 4 lessons every month regardless whether the lesson is cleared or not on that month. So at the end of the course we will accumulate a certain amount of hours which have not been cleared. In addition to that like I am late for 15 mins or he is late for 15 to 30 mins, it is also added to the hours that are not cleared. What I find ridiculous is that he said we have to extend the course because there is not enough time to finish the course and I have to pay the fees as usual.

Excuse me! Why would I need to do that? The course clearly stated that it is 9 months and you should just clear it, why would you request for more money?! He also say that he needed to extend the course so in the end my mum gave him a call.

The conclusion after she called was we would extend a month because we have to give a month notice. I was finding it so so weird! The hours that he had owe me should be around a month and now I am giving him a month notice. Is this not call a month notice? My mum was thinking let's put an end to this and just give him the school fee.

Then yesterday, he sat down and calculated the hours he owe me and it was 11 hours! And I gave him another month school fee so now in total, he owe me 13 hours 45 minutes! I will just bold it big  

13 hours 45 minutes!

He is very thick skin! Another way of saying is he owe me 3 months plus of lessons. Stupid enough he said that it is not enough to clear the things he wanted to teach me. Excuse me but why? Just finish off with the main points and end this misery of mine can? 

If I extend this course right, won't it be like forever he is owing me the lessons he missed.

Usually I respect my teachers so I will not talk back or whatever. But yesterday I talked back to him and in a louder tone and it sounded that I am insulting him and scolding him. When I scold people, usually it is not like this. Yesterday I just merely stating the truth but in a louder volume than I usually speak to him.

Actually I wanted to keep it anonymous but to prevent people from getting cheated I would just say that it is a music school near Chinatown MRT station. 

So beware!

So in the end, I apologized for my behavior to him but I so not going to apologize to him for the things I have said. He asked me to forgot about what has happen yesterday but who will forgot seriously... He must be thinking I am gullible.

I am upset with myself for flaring up but I will not be upset for hurting you please...

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Respect

I seriously think that people should respect one another and not force their thoughts on other people. Even though on the surface I do not look like my flames are burning, but actually inside me the lava is already seeping out.

Recently I encountered this private teacher of mine who is very forceful. But what made me pissed off is that he said that my vocal teacher is lousy and he is better. I was sitting there smiling back to him and at the same time analyzing his problematic character.

Last month I approached him to help me to record my portfolio, he seemed very uninterested. So I said if he did not want to help, I can always ask other music teachers to help me. But it really does not make any sense to me since I am submitting my arrangement for the enrollment. When he heard that, he immediately changed his mind. He decided to help me and I was relieved.

He then started to quote me but that time I was dumb and I did not know that I was cheated. I went to another studio and found out that their equipments are far more better and have better insulation which is $10/- lesser than what he quoted. He stated that he had given me a student price and what the hell is this call a student price?! See I got cheated by my own teacher and I am very dumb.

After that, I went to an equipment shop and asked the shop keeper why the interface I bought could not connect to my condenser mic. He replied and said that my interface has no phantom power. That interface was recommended by my teacher and why didn't he tell me? In case you do not know, condenser mic can only be connected to an interface that has a phantom power.

-_-" *Dots....*

When I started to learn from him last year, I realized something very awkward. He claimed that I am having individual classes so he collected individual school fees from me. But there are 3 rooms so sometimes he was walking in and out within these 3 rooms, teaching me and his 2 other vocal and composing students at the same time. This is the first time I have encounter something so amazing because none of my teachers did that.

In addition to that, I always have to confirm my lessons on the day itself. I was wondering he must be thinking that I live beside the school when the fact that I need to take an hour to go there. I find this very amazing so after 2 months I approached him and gave him a month notice that I would stop learning. My excuse was I was working so my time could not make it to the time he arranged. Then he shocked me. He used a very loud tone and questioned me why I am reprimanding him.  I am speechless and felt threatened, as usual I am a coward so I continue learning from him.

He thought my ears were deaf and he was scolding me to some other guy on the next door. See how bad his insulation was and how can he quote until so expensive. I seriously don't get it at all.

Just beware as some music schools are out there to cheat money.

Friday, March 16, 2012

My Personal Diary

I do keep a diary and I wrote lots of encouraging words to myself. :D But I just left it there lying in a corner after starting to write my thoughts in a blog and use twitter :( Basically my diary is full of positive things so I guess I will just share it!

16/6/2010
人生就像波浪一样一波三折。
不可能风平浪静,一帆风顺。
只有逆水行舟,才能让小船到达最终的目的地。

16/6/2010
人生就像一部戏,但不是本土,偶像,韩,喜剧等等。
我就是我人生的导演。
我就是我生活里的演员。
我就是我故事里的主角。
人生就是自己创造出来的戏剧。

26/8/2010
人生就像是在爬山一样,
爬的越高就越辛苦。
可是只要踏出第一步,
就会离顶端越近,
总比原封不动来的好。
到达顶端的时候,
就会觉得一切是值得的。

26/8/2010
跌倒了没关系,
人就是学会跌倒才懂得爬起来。
就算伤口已变成了疤痕,
但是只要乐观的面对,
那道疤痕已不再是疤痕,
而是学习过程时留下来的记号。

15/10/2011
前进,前进,一直前进,
只要努力向前前进,
才能不断地向前前进!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

On Fire!

This story has happened for quite some time already, it happened when I was in poly 2nd year. My cousin asked me to watch "Paranormal Activity" with him and his counselor. I was like ok let's go and watch this midnight movie. But when I came home, I seriously could not sleep that night and was constantly thinking about the demon pulling the main lead's leg. OH MY! The scene of the movie just kept on circulating in my head and I finally get to sleep when it was 5am or 6am in the morning.


The next morning around 10am or 11am, my mum kept shouting "On fire! On fire!" and woke me up. I was thinking "Why must you be so noisy and I want to sleep, use water and put off the fire la." But seriously it was too noisy that I have to get up. When I walked out of the bedroom, I was stunned. As in really stunned and blanked out. The fire was coming from my store room and the flames were spilling out from the door. I finally understood why it could not be put out by water. The scene of the paranormal activity flashed across my head, the main lead's house was once on fire too. Stupid to think of that because I just woke up and still thinking about that show.

After a few minutes, I came to my senses and grabbed my mother. I asked her where the maid was as her room was actually the store room! My mum ignored me. Then I asked again and she finally replied: "She went to the market with my dad." I was relieved to hear that she was not caught in the fire.


The next thing that came to my mind was to escape! Escape! (So cowardly as how I seemed to be.) So I walked towards the entrance while I saw some people trying to save the fire. Apparently when I was sleeping, a guy who was selling insurance to my mum happened to be at my house. He was also kind of lucky to encounter this. So this insurance seller together with my elder brother, cousin and mum was trying to save the fire. As I walked towards the entrance, my mum asked me to contact my dad and she passed me the phone.

I was too shocked that I could not stand still so I squat at the entrance while I saw my cousin running out to get a pail. Apparently one of my Indian neighbour came out standing at the corridor as my cousin approached her. She asked "What happen? What happen?" My cousin replied: "Fire! Fire!" She said: "Is it true?" My cousin was looking kind of pissed and replied: "Ya! The! Do you have a pail?" Finally she understood that the situation was real so she quickly went to get a pail for us.


On the other hand, I was squatting down thinking that calling my dad was useless so I dialed 995. As I dialed the phone, my hands were shivering and I could not speak properly over the phone but it seemed that they understood what I was talking about. Then I walked back to my house and see whether I could be of any help. I went to fetch the pail while waiting for the water to fill up the pail.

At the same time, the fire was burning furiously. The four people who was in the house trying to save the fire were running all over the place to get the pail. Then my mum went up to me and asked me if I called my dad, I replied that I had not. She was annoyed by it and asked me to pass the phone to her. I was thinking that my dad could not save the fire, only the fireman could do that so I called the fireman. What is wrong with that?!

Gradually neighbours living upstairs and downstairs came to my house and took a look. They also brought their pails with them not long after. But the fire was still burning! My mum went out to look for the hose reel but the door jammed! Shit! She walked in and out twice. The second time she came out, I was standing beside her and I saw the fire alarm! I just smashed the fire alarm glass without thinking and pressed it. The lift at my block stopped working. We were then alarmed by the fire alarm and I forgot what we did after that. Not long after the guard came up and opened the jammed door. He took the hose reel and helped out put out the fire. We were saved! The fire was put out!

Then 2 fire engines came! I was shocked! Oops maybe it was because I dialed once and my neighbour helped to dial once too. The problem lies with the fire has already been put off and why were they there? Finally, my dad came home with the maid. The maid looked total stunned as her room has been burned. Not long later, the policemen came. They asked me something which made me felt funny. They asked me if I need an ambulance as I used my bare hands to break the fire alarm glass. Of course I replied "I do not need it." My mum was slightly burned by the fire but she did not need the ambulance too.

The aftermath of this was the storeroom and utility room was burned and flooded with water. The water pipe at the utility burst but water could still be used. The DV box was the cause of the fire so we had no electricity. So we had temporary lights all over the house and our nice house looked devastated. Not long later I messaged Sam Wee, Mel and Mar to tell them my house was burned. Apparently I went to stay at Wee's house for 2 days so I'm so thankful for her hospitality. I guess the reason why the fire was so big is because the storeroom had a few bottles of cooking oil.

What did this accident tell me? It tells me to change my DV more often so it won't catch fire.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Making the Correct Decisions

The next few posts most likely I would be sharing my stories because I need to lighten my backpack or because I just feel like sharing.

I really love to play piano a lot a lot. But there was a time when I was suffering from severe stress. When I was in Secondary school, I was having classes like piano, violin, music theory and having tuition of course after school. When I was in school, I would go to participate in my CCA, which is concert band after class. Sounds crazy and I did mention it in my previous post. When I just entered Secondary school, my school results was pretty fine. But as mentioned above, I was so busy that my results dropped. I was so so so devastated.

In addition to that, I lost my best friend because we quarreled and I seriously did not know how to get along with my classmates. That time it seemed like I get along with my classmates but in my heart I felt like rejecting them. Even if I wanted to talk to them and share with them the stress I am facing, they did not understand. Ok I can understand why they did not get it, and who ask me to be so busy? All of them would reply to me like that.


If you have read one of my previous post, my violin teacher asked me to continue learning violin. So I did not give up. I ended up approaching my piano teacher. I told her I was very stressed and I wanted to give up learning piano. After the lesson ended, she went up to me and said a few sentences that have impacted me. She told me that she could see that I really love to play piano and if I give up it would be too pitiful. The words of persuasion she used made me stopped and thought about it. She asked me to go home and reconsider first.

So I went home to reconsider and recall the time when my dad objected me to play piano, how much passion I have shown him to let me play and all those stuff that was not easy to come by. Piano was not easy to come by, and just persuading my dad to let me learn how to play the piano took 4 years. Then I came up with the solution and it was to leave concert band. This is the final solution and I meant it.


Woah then 3 teachers came up to me when I wanted to leave the CCA. I was like "What are all the teachers doing? Are they trying to drive me crazy?" I made this decision because I have thought through and left with no other choice. School teachers just don't get it and yes I don't like to blow the clarinet so I came up with this decision and what is wrong with it. Out of 3 of the teachers, 1 of them was my form teacher, she happened to be best friend with the band in charge teacher. Why so kaypo? So my form teacher talked to my mum and said if I leave the concert band, she have to ensure that my results will become better. My mum agreed to set me free because she saw that I was suffering.

Then few months later, my English result dropped and my form teacher suan me in front of the class. From that day onwards I don't like CCA and find it troublesome and I find that school teachers are annoying. Sorry to say that but my English result also did not become better until 3 months before my 'O's my mum hired an English tutor for me. The English tutor made me understand better and I started to stop rejecting English.


If I did not recall wrongly, one of the teachers also mentioned why I have to learn a lot of things. Meaning they wanted me to continue staying in band and give up my outside lessons. This is how I analyzed: I have been staying in band for 3 years, I have learned what I needed to learn and of course it benefited me. But blow clarinet can get me no where. Most of the music that I have arranged so far have piano and strings, there is once I have tried to add clarinet in it and it sounded so weird. Maybe it is because I do not know how to make it better, oh well...

I really love to play piano so I did not give up until today. Lucky I made the correct decision at that time, or else I would regret. If you have so many things in your hands and you have to give up one which one would you choose? Of course you would choose the least beneficial and something you do not enjoy the most right? Shi bu shi ma.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Saying Bye

Last Saturday, my lyrics teacher was talking about someone who has left the world. Every time this topic arises, I felt like crying. During the class, when she mentioned about someone leaving the world, the first thing that come across my mind was my grandfather's death and next my grandaunt's death.

My grandfather's death actually did not really impact me a lot. It also seemed like my siblings and cousins were not affected by it. The only one that was seriously affected by this incident was my father. I still remember the day after my grandfather passed away, my dad was sitting at the dining table crying like mad. He kept blaming himself and said to himself why he did not save his father. I still remember that strong guilt that he kept in his heart and this is what has affected me. I felt really sad about it. So whenever I talked about my grandfather I would not have much emotions but whenever I was about to talk about my dad, I cannot control my tears. It just flows down.


 Another person was my grandaunt. My grandmother used to be very bias and my grandaunt was the one who used to protect me. Whenever she came to my house I was super super happy. She was like a superwoman who came to my rescue. Then her health starts to deteriorate when she slipped and fall. That is why old people should avoid slipping. From then on, she stopped coming to my house because she has got difficulty walking. Few years has passed and I went to study Secondary school, she finally came to my house. I was so happy and was scootering all over the house, but I don't know how to talk to her so I just kept smiling. Toot right?! Yes! And that was the last time I met her. After that day, I heard from my parents that her health was getting from bad to worse and I tried to ignore it. Until one day, I simply cannot remember when, I heard the news from my parents that she has passed away. I thought I would be ok with it but tears flow down my eyes when I tried to get to sleep. Though I don't feel sad but I missed her that's why I cried. I know that when she is gone here, there is a better place for her after she has left us.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Walking Out of My Depressing State

Writing songs... Being emo is actually essential in my opinion. I admit that I used to be super emo, I mistrust people to the max and I hated those people who had hurt me in the past. Until today, though I have learned to trust people and erased H-A-T-E from my brain, I am still very cautious with handling people around me because I am scared. I felt this part of me very useless.


I started writing songs just because of the fun of it and I actually forget about it. I kept remembering that I started to write songs because I had no outlet for my negative emotions and song writing is my only hope. I thought I could not survive and writing songs saved me. The first few songs that I wrote sounds like a children song until the day I became very unhappy that I could not smile anymore.

That was also the period of time when people around me said that my songs are not that bad at all. As time started to pass, it became that I was an emo person so I wrote songs. People tend to like sad songs and I wonder why, I have saved lots of Korean songs in my Iphone as they do not sound as depressing as Chinese songs. 


A lot of people around me wanted to instill positivity in me, but it seemed like their advices bounced back to them right in their face and I did not notice. Out of these people, there are 2 person who put in lots of effort to "save" me and they are my mum and violin teacher. I did not know that my replies from a word improve to a sentence and to 10 sentences would make my violin teacher felt relieved. I did not know that from the day that I did not smile till the day I smiled to him and laughed at the words he said made him shocked. I did not know that he was glad when I shared about the things that I do with him.

My mum is my mum so she cares for me, sometimes I also asked myself why did my teacher helped me so much. I realized that is because he wanted to see me improve I guess. But really, out of all the teachers I have met he is a very very caring teacher and I doubt that any teacher will treat you this nice.


There was once when my violin teacher prepared a concert for his students and asked some of his students to perform. I was studying Secondary 3 then. I remembered that as usual I went for my violin classes and had zero confidence in myself that I could not play a violin. It was that bad. Then he suggested that I should go on stage to play the violin, I guess he did not know that I was in the concert band and I had stage experiences. But I could blow a clarinet in school because I had my friends with me but to go to a violin concert with nobody I knew was so terrifying, especially going up to perform something that I was so lousy at.

Before I opened my mouth he said "Ok! You will go ahead and perform." and I was like WHAT?! So I went ahead to practice with 11 other people. When I looked at all those people who was younger than me played far more better than me, my confidence dropped from zero to negative.


Few days later, I called my teacher telling him that I would give up playing violin. I could not clearly remember what he had said, the topic was mainly I should carry on learning. Now it sounded like I am from the strawberry group. From the conversation, I still can remember he said: “子佳,这是我第一次听到你跟我说那么多话,很好!我要你继续拉琴,你继续拉的话如果将来找不到工作你还可以教人拉琴,找口饭吃。你这个人就是要有人来逼你,我现在逼你拉琴你将来一定会感谢我的。” I was dizzy after hearing that and felt that tremendous stress. After the concert ended, I also did not appreciate what he has did. I just did not understand him.


A few years had passed and I went to poly. Initially I did not want to join CCA because I want to relax and enjoy life. But after thinking it through, yes I should not disappoint him so I went to join the strings ensemble. I met 2 close friends of mine there and we 3 were very close then. Now I seriously don't know. We started talking about my teacher and I was wavering whether I should introduce them to my teacher and let them learn from him. My character change a lot when I was in sec to poly, if I introduce them to my teacher, they would know the side of me that they never know.

Our friendship became very stable and close so I say ok I would bring them to see my teacher. Very childish... Ya why did I think that way? Seriously... The first ever day I brought my friends to my teacher he was so happy that I have friends. I was like huh? What is there to be happy about? So it just came out that both of them was accepted as his students. One of them called Anita is still learning from him and she seems to be liking my teacher a lot.


In the end, I left the CCA after the concert. I felt that my mission has accomplished and I was unhappy there. My ultimate mission when I enter poly is to become a happy person. Oh no... it seemed that from the day the unhappiness circulating at the CCA extended to my classroom made me an unhappy person again.

After I graduate from poly, I realized that no matter where you are or how unhappy the people around you, don't let them affect you. I also realized that when I help others too much, I was hoping someone to help me in return and ended up nobody help me. This caused a great disappointment. To reduce this disappointment, now before I lend my helping hand I would tell myself: "I am doing a charity and I cannot expect anything in return. If I still feel uncomfortable, I would not help no matter how much I want to." I always have the tendency to help people solve their worries as fast as possible without solving mine first and this has to put a stop to it. That is why when people ask me to help them, no matter who, I am having inner conflicts with myself because I have to help them. No don't do that Abigail!


Oh ya back to my teacher! After so many years had passed, I started to appreciate what he has did for me. He is really a very good teacher.


Before I have noticed, I realized that I have written too much for this post. Actually I started off wanting to write about "Depressing people should not think that because I write songs so I am depressing." That is so so wrong! Have you ever think that if you are a depressing person, won't the people around you will get affected by your disease? Even though I don't mind making friends with depressing people but if I mix with them for too long I would get spread by them. I have been trying so hard to stand on my feet and reach my ultimate goal which is "Be a happy person", so I do not want to get push back to the starting point.

When I am depressed, yes I write songs. But after the period of time I finish writing, I tell myself to let it go. The same actually goes to twitter, sometimes I write emo things but after writing I revived myself. But one of my friend I find her very funny is that she would ask me how am I and she was worried about me. I told her nothing but she kept asking. Don't worry nothing is really nothing.

I would just conclude here! Bye!

MY VIDEO!