Thursday, January 19, 2012

Johor Muar Malaysia

I went to my granny's new house at Johor Muar, Malaysia, on Tuesday. I took some photos! She is so freaking happy that she has a new house!









Saturday, January 14, 2012

仙人掌


無能又需要幫助的我要如何在她的身上灑滿痊癒人心的種子?
我沒辦法。
因為我是一個仙人掌。
我只能在我的周邊建起我的王國,
吸引更多仙人掌的伙伴在我傍邊生長。
養育我的仙人掌是這麼教育我的,
我無法從一朵花的角度來看待事物。
長滿刺的我,
是我原本的面貌。
去掉刺以後的我由誰來保護,
那絕對不可能是你。
無人曉得流過的眼淚,
保存之後,
就是使我茁壯成長的營養。
不需要細心呵護而綻放美麗的花朵,
只需要不要有任何毒藥放進我的盆栽裡就能使我快樂的成長。
雖然我不像花一樣美麗,
但是我可以確定的是我比較堅強。
你不覺得仙人掌比玫瑰花帶有更多吸引力嗎?

Friday, January 13, 2012

拐杖

有時候的我無法用自己的雙腳站穩,
我需要一把拐杖在旁扶持。
雖然拐杖同時也支撐我的重量,
其實她也需要我來扶持她。
可是沒有她,
我會開始凸顯我的微不足道,
我無法用雙腳感受地板的溫度。
我只能用我的雙手來感受那冰冷的地面,
一直在原地自我打轉。

A visit to the dentist


I went to the dentist today morning and my dentist say that I have 2 stubborn teeth that are not moving well enough therefore I have to wear the Invisalign for another 32 weeks. My reaction was: "Huh... So long." He replied: "Yes I know it is very long. Because we want to have a better result. Just treat it as you are wearing retainers." So for a better result, I have to endure for another 32 weeks. Actually wearing Invisalign does not cause too much pain to my gum except for once when I changed a week earlier due to miscalculations. It does cause some inconvenience, the movement of the teeth caused my teeth to become weak and I cannot eat nuts or popcorn. Honestly I cannot really bite properly as there is a gap between my upper and lower rows of teeth. What to do... I want to have a nice smile. :D

The difference between Invisalign and braces is that one is invisible and one is not. I also have heard that when you are having ulcers, wearing braces would cause a lot of pain. However this does not happen when I am wearing Invisalign so far, I have no issues with the pain caused by ulcers. Hmmm... Initially I thought that if I wear Invisalign, my speech would not be affected. Oh no no no, that is wrong. My words pronunciation has become worse, especially when I speak Chinese. I used to have some people correcting my English but it seems that I have been receiving corrections for my Chinese now. Lastly I would like to point out the most troublesome situation when I am wearing Invisalign. Before I eat, I would always need to find a toilet to take my Invisalign out and wash them. It can be troublesome.   


Ok after wearing for quite some time, I am going to calculate when I am going to finish this treatment. Supposedly before I wore it, the dentist said that he would give me 20 sets and each set I have to wear for 2 weeks.

Originally I have to wear for: 40 weeks

Few months ago, my teeth are not moving as fast as it was planned to so I wore a set for an additional 2 more weeks. After that before I flew to Adelaide, I was wearing my 18th set and I visited the dentist. He told me to hold on to this set of Invisalign first as there are refinements to be made. They took a mould from me once again and sent to US. It dragged until today the dentist placed the attachments back again.

18 sets x 2 weeks = 36 weeks
36 weeks + 2 weeks = 38 weeks
38 + 7 weeks of waiting = 45 weeks


Therefore I have been wearing the Invisalign for 45 weeks, ok that is sad. And now... I have to wear another


16 x 2 weeks = 32 weeks!


Total I have to wear for

45 weeks + 32 weeks = 77 weeks, 37 weeks more than it was initially planned.

I don't know why but I felt cheated... what is this feeling.... though I do not need to pay extra charges.

Sometimes I can be not so niao (calculative) but sometimes wearing this is troublesome. I have to be niao and calculate this.

32 weeks later would be on the 17 August 2012 if nothing went wrong.

I am going to keep note of this date.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

杯子

杯子是圓的,裡面也是空的。

外表看起來凡是都是圓滿的,但是還是隔著一層玻璃。

他也是透明的,也容易破碎。


就因為被看透,才會突顯自己的脆弱。

用堅強來填滿不會感到空虛。

同時也可以把自己的堅強分享給其他還沒填滿的杯子。

Friday, January 6, 2012

Snail


I always see myself like a snail, sometimes a useless snail.

I always crawl very slowly and everyone is always faster and smarter than me.

A snail is worse than a tortoise because it's smaller in size, no one can see you without opening their eyes big enough.

If I'm unlucky, somebody may just step and squash on me. This shows how useless my shell is too.

A snail is also very slimy and people who don't appreciate me may think I'm disgusting.

Stupid enough, sometimes my slimy body may leave stain on the places I have been to which will enable others to track me down.

When I'm scared, I would always hide in my shell.

When I'm shy, I would also hide in my shell.

When I'm sad, I would hide in my shell too.

Why do I have to hide in my shell when knowing my shell is useless?

On flat land, I crawl freaking slow. Uphill, I crawl even slower.

But! I know how to stick without dropping off on a vertical wall unlike others.

I want a snail to run as fast as the lightning.

Can a snail ever run as fast as the lightning or this is just hallucination? I want a snail to run as fast as the lightning.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Dreaming for a new room

As stated above, I am currently dreaming for a new room. I seriously hope to shift to a bigger house where I can have my own room. In this case, I do not need to share a room with my grandmother. I am not going to say anything bad or what but my granny is very sensitive, in case any of you read this and knows my grandmother, please keep it to yourself. I am just mere complaining. Or before you want to read this, don't read it.


My grandmother she is kind of bias but sad enough I am the only girl so it is kind of awkward to share a room with both my brothers. In the end I have been sharing room with her for 6 years. I always know that she feel I have invaded her room and she expresses it in an obvious manner every time. Originally before I shifted to my grandmother's room, I slept in my parents' room. Then I felt that I did not want to share a room with them any longer as I did not enjoy sleeping on the floor, I wanted a bed. So my dad agreed and went to IKEA and bought me a double-deck bed with my bed at the top and my table beneath. Maybe you would know that IKEA's furniture are not lasting so when I was sleeping, my bed sway from side to side as though like an earthquake. Every night I would wake up at least twice and felt super tired. Oh yes! There was once there was a real minor earthquake and my dining lamp was swaying from side to side but I was sound asleep. I guess that is because I was too tired that I didn't wake up because of that bed. This lousy bed caused me to have sleepless night for 4 years that I went back sleeping on the floor again.


Another reason I felt uncomfortable is because my grandmother always think that my table is messy so I could not put my books on the table. She seriously have high expectations to cleanliness. In addition to that she slept at 8pm or 9pm so that table is seriously useless and I did not really use it except in the morning before I go to school. When I was preparing for my 'O's, I seriously felt that she was unhappy as I would turn on the lamp. However she had no choice but to understand that study is important. After my 'O's, I try to be understanding so if I happen to leave my things on my table, I would have to use a torchlight and shine in the dark to find my things. In the end, she got me a better torchlight as my torch-lights always break down.  


Until recently! I got my new bed! I was super happy! Actually when I was working at the previous firm, I would always look out for a better bed for myself. Then I finally found a bed that could have storage underneath so I would not have to invade my grandmother's space. I was thinking this would be a good idea and my dad expressed great agreement to what I have said. Therefore he went to find the bed for me. Thanks to my dad, he caused a chill that went down my spine. He said that he wanted to buy a new bed for my grandmother too but from my point of view, old people tend to like the original stuff they have. Seriously after the bed came, my grandmother did express her unhappiness.

My dad also mentioned that he wanted to paint the room as there were crack lines on the wall and it resulted to renovating the room. How did it get there? I seriously did not know as I just followed along with my dad's opinion. My grandmother as what I understand was even frustrated as the maid did most of the cleaning and she was busy packing her stuff. Life was seriously tough for her at that time and her granddaughter who shared a room with her do not enjoy cleaning. Ok I admit I did not help out... the maid did most of the things, I only packed my own stuff. Then finally the renovation was done and my dad did another shocking thing. He asked my grandmother to throw away her precious table and decided to make her a new one. My grandmother eyes nearly killed me with one stare. That was seriously scary and I did persuade my dad not to change but my dad did not listen. Oh my god...



All along my mum wanted to shift my clothes over to my grandmother's room as they wanted to renovate the study room for both my brothers. There wasn't enough space to put another bed that is why one of my brother is still sleeping on the floor. After the renovation, my mum wanted to shift my clothes to my grandmother's closet. There are 2 closets so my mum thought that it would be okay to use up one when originally my grandmother used that to put my brothers' unwanted clothes. My mother seriously find it weird to put my brothers' clothes there but again! My soul nearly flew away when she mentioned to my grandmother about replacing my brothers' clothes with my clothes. My grandmother was unhappy again. So right after the renovation, she put all her unwanted stuff in that closet.

During the period of time when she went back to Malaysia, my mum constantly asked me to shift my clothes to that closet. In the end, my maid shifted it under my mum's instruction, not mine ok. When my grandmother came back and saw my clothes, not to mention she was once again super duper unhappy. In addition to that, she complained that she is too old to push up the bed and put storage underneath her bed and the cabinet is too high for her. Apparently my parents got tired of this and used up all the other left over spaces for their books and my brother's army stuff. This action of theirs seriously was adding fuel to the fire, no... the volcano. I did not want to look at her eyes or talk to her for a few days as that was scary. Until one day when I received my pay I gave her $50 as what my mum suggested. I came out from hell but she still left some of her stuff in the closet.

After this incident, she is now is Malaysia again shifting to her new house and busy with the renovation works there.


Bye! Why do I feel so tired after writing this post, this seriously is making me nervous when typing this. Read and forget people.

Monday, January 2, 2012

2012

Is 2012 the year to welcome the end of the world? I seriously doubt so. I have to confess that I nearly believed it was true due to the movie. However the first time I ever heard of it was from my lecturer during lecture when he started to talk not only about 2012 the end of the world, and also aliens. That time I was like what are you talking about? Then the movie came out and I was once convinced by it. Do you believe it? No I don't.

Today my main topic is to share about my 2012 resolution! So let's start!

1. Pass my piano exam
2. Get my driving license
3. Get into LASALLE
4. Learn how to cook 5 dishes
5. Able to sell one of my songs

That's all! 5 points only but kind of difficult to achieve so all the best to me! I realized that my resolution is only for the 1st half of the year, I seriously need to think what I'm going to do for the 2nd half of the year.
I looked at my clock and realized that time flies really fast. Swoosh! I am already twenty. Now to think of it I don't really have any memory of what in had been doing for the 1st 6 years living on this earth. Is there a deduction to minus the time that I don't remember. Yes there is NO such thing. I watched a show and it told me:

The first 30 years you don't know what to do.
The next 30 years you forget what you need to do.
The last 30 years you regret what you didn't do.

Honestly for the past 20 years I am confused on what I need to do, finding what I want to do which equals to I don't really know what to do. So that show really does make some sense.

Good night!

MY VIDEO!