Saturday, November 27, 2010


Is having a dream really that important? I personally think that sometimes reality tend to swallow your so call "dream" but that does not mean that you should not have one. A person who do not know what they really want in life is really a torture. I have been through a period of them where I do not know what I really want and aimlessly wander everywhere in life. I call it the sense of insecurity. I wonder if you have envy people who has a goal in life too? I do.

My parents always say that reality is more important. True enough but I also heard people talking about how important dreams are, many talks about "dream" and "dare to dream" so on and on. Come to think of it, people who adhere to their dreams tend to have courage. However that does not equal to success. Planning is the most important step to do when you are carrying out your own dream, I guess.

How about you? Do you have a dream?
If you ask me, I just want to keep on improving on my songs and share it with more and more people. That is my dream and interest now.

I used to be greedy, thinking that I'm some super girl who can succeed in everything, regardless in school, music, social circle, family matters... In the end, I realized that I am no where closer to my own expectations which stressed me out. I look at myself and realized that I am wrong. Due to many things that I do not even need and cling on, I have missed out the interesting stories and details along the way. Maybe I am born in a city, the living pace is so quick that I am always comparing myself with other people. So don't be greedy, take it easy and you will realize something different.

My point of view start to change when I came across this video, I cannot remember the details about this video but I am just going to share with you some tips on how to find your own dream if you are lost or something, at the same time flip through what I wrote in my diary. Oh yes, before I wrote this blog, I own 2 diaries since secondary school. It is a way to express my happiness and unhappiness by writing down. I seriously encourage people to write diaries or blog, if you keep too many stuffs inside your heart it is terrible isn't it?

Here it goes:

1) Goals & Dreams
- Compose songs of my own style and become a musician that would be recorded in the history. (Like LOL)
- Learn to sing well (Seriously, my singing has improved as compared to the past)
- Be famous in websites like youtube (Ok I have a long way to go)

etc etc ...

After stating my dreams, next I sort out:

a) Really Important  
- Compose songs that are of my own style (Date: 1/6/2010) Expired already but I have written Eternal Sleep and I am happy with it.
- Sing extremely well (1/12/2010)
This reminds me that when I started to write a song, I am super happy with the outcome as I played it using my piano. However, when I started singing, I was super upset and asked myself why is it so disgusting. So singing became one of my goal.
- Play my piano well (1/12/2010)

b) Not Nessasary, a want
- Play my violin well (31/12/2010)

c) Would be nice but I don't have to have it
- Get good grades (Polytechnic)

Then I state the reason why (every of the goals you have wrote)

Example to how you write it

Compose songs that are of my own style
- I love composing
- I want people to appreciate them
- It helps me to express my mood
- It makes me feel happy and alive (Ok, what is this? I can't believe I wrote this)

Daily basis (7 days)
- Play piano
- Play violin

It seems that I did not adhere to the daily basis. I only play them once a week. Oh no, better not let my teachers know as they always remind to play everyday and I replied :"OK"

You can give it a try and write it in your diary or blog! Hope you will find your own goals and dreams and walk forward to it and look forward to my next post!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Youtube is my best friend

Don't you think that YouTube is just your best friend ever? Today I was totally clueless about how to use a new music software (FL studio). Within 15 minutes of browsing through YouTube, I roughly understand how to use it. The same goes to using revit and sketchup.

This also reminds me of how I started to write my blog. I was clueless on how to get started, the only thing that I knew was using Blogger, follow the instructions, type some words and POST! Then I asked myself: "So now what? How am I going to post my music up?" Browsing through different web pages, reading hundreds of words that made me dizzy, the web pages recommended me to use some music uploading webs which is a core to use it. YouTube just never cross my mind then, I was so busy searching for a solution that I actually forgot that I have a account. It was until a week later that I realized that I could just post it on YouTube.

During the first week of me setting up my blog, I wanted to change my blogskin but I did not know how to do it. I went to YouTube and typed "How to design blogskin",within a day I designed my own blogskin. Don't you find it amazing?! However it looks ugly, you still need to take some time to develop your blogskin design skills. Gradually, I realized that blog readers do not just pass by your website and read. You still need some information on how to increase your blog traffic. If you are interested, you can visit lisa3876's YouTube channel. She has uploaded many videos on setting up blogs and websites etc.

In addition to that, YouTube also helps you get updated to the latest music video. However due to copyright issues, most of the music videos are taken down, especially Japanese music videos. Music videos are good, at least it would lower the percentage of you regretting after buying the cd/dvd. I have a few cds that I regretted buying and they were a waste of money, the cds were left on my shelves collecting dust and maybe waiting for the day to be spoiled.

I am going to conclude that if you want to get started on a software but found out that the software is an alien to you, YouTube is just going to provide the answers that you need. Especially people who do not like to read so many words like me, it is just going to benefit you!

Friday, November 12, 2010

The bottle of stories

I have stories that I have bottled in my heart for so long but I did not say it. Today I wanted to share what I have been through these 2 years plus at my school. I know that people who wants to do big things should not talk about people related topics but things have come to be so irreversible.

New to the school
There is a girl who I admired her when I just came to know her. She looked friendly and social-able. When I came to know that she was in my group, I was elated. However, things had not been going smoothly, she is not like how I see her.

Whenever I do stuffs that are not to her expectations, she would keep blaming me. I was wondering if you are so unhappy, why don't you do it yourself. An addition to that, she was missing for a few occasions when she was doing our project. When the deadline was near, we had to rush like mad as compared to other groups.

Second Year
However, her attitude changed when she was in second year. I should say change for the better. She was very enthusiastic in her work but when she comes to group work, the only thing that was similar is she was as bossy as before and kept ordering me to do this and that. We are all classmates, is it not suppose to be trusting each other in a team and get this work done? The outcome was "I want this so do it for me." Third year is a year I could finally choose my group members, so I never felt so happy in my school life before. I finally have to choice not to group with her. It was heaven.

Birthday Party
Last year, I invited her to my birthday party. She asked me whether she could bring some of her friends with her. I thought it would be fine so I agreed. She brought her friends along and was trying to show her friends off to everyone. Apparently, everyone ignored her. One of my friend who totally did not know who she was told me that when I was not around, she was trying to put me down and she did not know what that girl was trying to do. From my perceptive, she was trying to ruin my party but failed to do so.

A quarrel that does not involve me
Towards the end of our year 2, I thought everything would come to an end. It seems that this story is never ending. My class had a group of people who was quarreling for a competition project but it does not involve me. She had a quarrel with her best friend but it seems not amendable so she went to the submission box, took the file that belongs to her best friend and put it on my table. The second day, one of our classmate found her file on my table and helped her hand it up. Initially, everyone thought that it would not be graded, in the end it was graded. Her best friend gave me a call and asked me regarding this situation. Luckily, that day I went home and had a witness with me or else this will drag forever.

The day before
The day before, I heard my name repeatedly came out from a certain person. Obviously they were gossiping about me. Actually all this while I knew that they were gossiping about me but I pretended that I did not know. Ignorance does not mean stupidity.

Initially I just wanted to hint the person who was gossiping about me and just let this situation give it a rest. I went up to the person and called his name. He pretended to ignore me until I called him the third time. That was the time I was a little pissed off. I said "你说别人的坏话太大声了“ (The volume of you speaking ill of someone is too loud). He actually replied me "What? Which one?" I got angry but I did not want to scold him so I left the class.

When I got home, I felt kind of guilty to said that sentence to him or whether I had heard wrongly or not. It ever crossed my mind whether to apologize to him too. I called my friend and was talking about this matter. We came out a conclusion that we would find out the truth first, and if I have done wrongly, I am willing to apologize. The second day, the group that he was in was mocking openly in front of me. At the same time, I felt my stupidity. Why should I even think of wanting to apologize to him. The one who was laughing extremely loud was that girl I mentioned before. I understand that she wanted to get her revenge.

At the same time, I felt that everyone in the class except for one of my friend has misunderstood me. It seems that after I left the classroom that they were gossiping even louder. I was so depressed. During my journey to head home, my friend was trying to cheer me up. I came to realize that she is my true friend.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Eternal Sleep

After 1 month, I finally uploaded a song. I have been busy with my submissions for the past few weeks. Being an architecture student is really tough but I'm going to graduate soon so bear with it. Yes I'm telling myself to bear with it... 5 more months. Tomorrow there is an interim submission again so after publishing this post, I'm off to cadding!

Eternal Sleep

Initially, the name of this song is called "Unwoken Sleep." But unwoken... No such word, so I decided to change it to "Eternal Sleep."

This song consist of different time signature (3/4 to 4/4) and tempo which is found at the transition of the verse to the chorus. I finished this song at March earlier this year so you can hear the difference as you compare with my previous pieces. There is improvement? I guess.

Struggling with my sub-conscious and conscious mind, I could not wake up.
Fallen into a deep deep sleep, when can I end this nightmare?

Okay! I'm going off to cadding the sewage and drainage now. Look forward to my next post!